Day 11: The Soul of the World

“People looking at what was occurring around them could find a means of penetration to the soul of the world” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I started reading Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist last night and finished it today. It was such a trippy read because I can honestly say that this would’ve blown my mind a couple months ago, but now I feel like it’s mostly validation for everything that I’ve learned. How is it possible that humans come to the same conclusions once they go on this journey into themselves, the journey of self discovery? Is it just because we’re the same species that we feel the same emotions and so many of us feel the need to go on this journey? Why is it such a THING for us to find answers? For such a long time I’ve thought “Consciousness is a BITCH. It’s the only reason I’m feeling SO SHITTY right now” but now I swear I can FEEL my mindset shifting to “no… consciousness is a MIRACLE.”

I didn’t need to read this… because I’ve been feeling it. But reading it is a huge relief 🙂 Sometimes I can’t help but doubt the path…. but now I know I really shouldn’t. It seems like the ultimate conclusion people seem to come to since the beginning of time is that we are divine energy, we are all one, and everything happens for a reason.

I’d be lying if this book didn’t blow my mind at least a little bit xD Actually, toward the end at about 53 min left (I was listening on Audible) I started getting all teary eyed because of the boy’s conversation with the alchemist. For SO LONG I’ve worked against myself, against my heart, and it caused SO MUCH PAIN. I wasn’t sure WHY I was feeling the pain, all I knew is that I was feeling it, and I needed to explore that a little bit.

Cut to now… I can honestly say that I feel like I’ve progress, which is a lot for me to admit. Prior to this moment in time, I couldn’t say that genuinely… I always felt like it was a lie, that I was just trying to kid myself. Just yesterday I was thinking about the past and how I’d suffered for so long, battling myself. But in this book the Alchemist says:

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered in search of its dreams because every second of the search is an encounter with god and eternity.”

He also says that “courage is the quality most essential to understanding the language of the world” the language of course being love. I was getting all teary because it was so sad to me how true so much of what the alchemist said. It’s just human nature to have our heart speak to us as children, but with age those hearts speak “more and more softly” because they “don’t want people to suffer if they don’t follow their hearts.” More and more I’m finding that courage is really hard to come by these days, because it’s so easy for people to hide behind screens and not actually talk to each other. But I think this feeling is starting to pervade culture more and more because as the years pass, people are beginning to speak out against this complex society we’ve created for ourselves.

Thinking about it though, this book was written in the 90s. Is this just a recurring theme that will span through all time? Or is it ACTUALLY getting better? Who knows… I feel like maybe it’s one of those “time will tell” sorta things? I mean, can any of us ever truly gain answers or do we have to just learn, more than anything to trust OURSELVES? Probably that one. I mean… it’s like people say. Speak your truth.

But it’s so hard to speak your truth when you don’t know what it is… and that’s where the courage comes in. Courage to pursue it, courage to seek the “omens” the “signs” that you’re on the right path. All that “follow your bliss” shit… it’s all just to get our hearts closer to the “soul of the world”

Man it really hit me hard how the whole point of all of it was so that the boy could befriend his own heart, with neither being “capable of betraying each other”, a line I think is SO beautiful. Lately, that’s been ESPECIALLY my battle. Since this bipolar diagnosis and taking the Latuda, I’ve seen that my mind IS actually capable of befriending my heart… it’ll just take time. And I think a huge reason it takes so much time for me personally is because I have to FEEL the answers. If I had read this book years ago when I knew NOTHING… it wouldn’t have had any impact. But because I’ve lived an adequate amount of life… the feels were intense.

Please heart, continue to speak to me and allow me to return to the soul of the world.

“Very few follow the path laid out to them.”

 

 

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