Been off meds since last October, but now we’re on week 5 (I think) of the Quarantine and I wanna start this workweek off strong! Being left to my own devices with a super distracting (ADHD) husband and young beagle, it’s easy for the day to pass by without getting much done. There have been so many nights I’ve had to stay up to finish an 8 hour shift, which has completely destroyed the structure I was so proud of myself for cultivating the past couple months T___T I desperately need to get back to that… waking up at 4am for sadhana was the best “me time” balance I’d ever struck! Aiming to have that “silent forest time” again by the end of the week, especially because we’re starting up teacher training again this weekend (even though its on zoom…boo). Gotta get back into it!
Being off meds with such a roller coaster work schedule completely ravaged my moods… there was a week I was sleeping 15 hours a day and pulling all nighters, which made me feel SO SHITTY about myself because it triggered my mania hardcore… I think I’m still recovering from that. Since Latuda makes you sleepy, I started it up again last night and was surprised how I got tired so quickly. Being off meds for a while (like getting off weed) really lowers the tolerance and makes it so much more effective! Now in the morning… I’m tired and have a slight headache, but I’m feeling more wired… like ready to start the day! 😀 I was on 60mg of Latuda when I got off, and I felt like my tolerance had increased so much it wasn’t even making me tired anymore! Maybe stopping periodically is the way to go…
UPDATE: I had such a great time washing dishes this morning, I couldn’t believe it! I think my awareness has increased so I can really tell a significant difference from being on the medication. It’s almost like… all these things that were so overwhelming like washing dishes, work, texting people back… I’m able to compartmentalize them now so they’re not just in one huge cloud of “YOU GOTTA DO THIS THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME TO DO THIS” that inevitably cripples me into doing nothing. Now it’s like… my mind is ok with just one thing at a time rather than worrying about ALL of it. It reminds me of when I first started taking the meds… I felt like my whole concept of time shifted. Glad to be feeling that again. There’s hope ;_;