Confessions From Quarantine 02

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I just have to say… I’m really grateful for being on the path that I’m on during this crazy time. I feel like I’ve made such immense progress as a person over these past 10 years and it blows me away how I am where I am right now. I would NOT be able to handle it as well otherwise…

Seriously… going to meet Mother Ayahuasca broke me open in ways I’m just beginning to feel and understand. Moving forward as a species, we have to all be able to connect with nature in a similar way as taking ayahuasca… She has a way of making you feel it.. feel it ALL…that warmth of connected oneness with the universe. And we’ve done so much to damage her so now we’re paying the price…

I watched this pandemic series on netflix and in one of the episodes a student asks this virologist “Why do you think humans haven’t evolved to take care of this virus yet?” and he replies something like “That’s the question isn’t it…” But to me it really does seem something like… this is just part of the cycle. As humans we have to collectively learn how to handle the pain of the consequences of history if we’re meant to move forward once this quarantine is complete.

And what kinda person will you be then?

Reclaim Your Own Power

“I now break any contract I have ever made with another, consciously or unconsciously, that has given them power over me, power over my sense of self, the authority to approve or reject me or anything about me, including my voice, body, creativity, spirituality and way of living. Of my own free will, I now choose to directly perceive my own inner beauty and turn within with kindness and compassion to see myself through the eyes of unconditional love. So be it.”

One of my friends in our yoga group just shared her card pull from Alana Fairchild’s Sacred Rebels deck. Given that I just watched Labyrinth the other day, I’m absolutely loving it!!

youhavenopoweroverme

Been thinking a lot about “power” lately, and how funny it is that we so easily give ours up. Any time you assume that someone is thinking poorly of you, judging you, or talking about you behind your back… you allow them to take that power away. You focus too much on THEIR thoughts of you, rather than just going on with your own life. It’s so funny that we do that…

Also been listening to Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero’s Journey” and he talks about how the nature of nature is to eat itself. That’s what the ourobouros is… right? LIFE EATING ITSELF. THAT’S NATURE. THAT is what we have to accept. It’s a tough pill to swallow.

ouroboros

It became really clear to me when he said that tribal societies would have sacred festivals for the animals that they would have to kill and eat… it was their was of honoring the sacred balance of nature. But our modern world does NOT honor that balance, and it puts us in a rough spot to figure out the power balance within society. We’re all capable of being “predators,” in the nature sense… having power… or giving up that power to accept being prey… being that one “eaten by” others.

Shudder. This is why Beastars is so great — brings up those important “cycle of nature, these are our instincts” questions.

Anyway.

I don’t wanna be prey anymore. I probably never truly was, but I THOUGHT I was. Thinking about it though, I wouldn’t wanna be a predator either. I want to be like Gaia… watching it all and experiencing the beauty of it, rather than getting caught up in any type of power struggle. Detached, observant, blissful, accepting… and I guess the only way to do that is to reclaim PERSONAL power. Not let anything else bother you. And this quarantine… separated from any energies competing with my own… it’s been a nice time to begin to honor my own energy. And I’m starting to see…that energy truly IS divine. And guess what, so is yours! 🙂

For the first time in my life I feel like I AM reaching out for that power, and finally claiming what’s mine.

Note To Future Self – Things That Help

Mood: 🙂

I woke up this morning not remembering my specific dreams, but with the word “PARTICIPATE” repeating in my head. I’ve been so on and off with participating my whole adult life — makes sense with so many ups and downs — but I feel like it’s time for me to engage with the world in the way I’ve always been meant to.

But I know it won’t be easy, and I have to be more vigilant about my patterns. I went running with Han in the park this morning, the weather is beautiful! And it made me think it would be nice to write down a list of what makes me feel better. A note to my future self — when it gets bad, do one of these things. 

  • Go to the park – meditate, read, nap, whatever. It’s the closest nature to you!
    Remember that, according to a study by the UK government (read about it here), it’s essential to our health to be in nature at least 2 hours a week. 
  • Go for a run
  • Play the ukulele
  • Listen to mantra
  • Listen to Laboratorium Piesni
  • Sound healing – shamanic drum, steel tongue drum, singing bowl
  • Play a videogame (Remember, play is important!)
  • Play with Han – Run around in the house with him a bit
  • Read (something fun)
  • Meditate — Kirtan Kriya is one that always makes you feel better
  • Journal

I wanna keep this list short and sweet. Remember this is medicine for your soul. Take this shit seriously so you can function in the world.

To make it even easier for you, here are links!

Laboratorium Piesni
Close your eyes and connect with your soul…


Mantra
Chattr Chakkr Varti – The mantra for change – It removes feeling of anxiety, depression and phobias, leaving in its place courage and victory. 

Meditate
Sa Ta Na Ma – Studies have shown that doing this meditation increases brain activity, eases depression and mood swings, balances right and left brain, improves memory function and more! Click here to read about it and here for instructions on how to do it if you’re interested 🙂 It looks like a lot, but if you just turn on this song, close your eyes and move your fingers along, you get into the swing of it real fast. 

SAA: Infinity, cosmos, beginning
TAA: Life, existence
NAA: Death, change, transformation
MAA: Rebirth

Loved my Yoga With Adriene practice today, so linking that too for good measure!

Remember, “where attention goes, energy flows.”