Confessions From Quarantine 07

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We as humans are naturally self serving, and for real change to happen, both in ourselves and the world, we have to look at history. Patterns. A good place to start is looking at your OWN story, because the truth is… we’ve all been programmed with a ton of lies and too many of us are still unconscious and asleep. Once you start unraveling those lies… change is inevitable.

Joseph Campbell says “When looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see that this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes.” Now more than ever this is important to be aware of, with so much negativity in the world. But in order to be able to bounce back into the positive… we have to do our part.

To gather my thoughts about what I wanted to talk about in this project, I chronologically wrote out the events that stood out to me in the last 10 years of my life. The black bubbles were “irreversible moments” for me, and when I told that to a friend she called them “plot points of my hero’s journey” which I really loved. So many emotions came up while doing this, the biggest being GRATITUDE — gratitude for how far I’ve come, the great connections I’ve made along the way, gratitude for this path I’m walking and insight on where I’m headed in the future.

There’s a lot going on in our country right now, and if you don’t know what to do, remember that change starts within. I’d highly recommend doing this exercise (ideally with your entire life) if your past feels like a tangled mess and you’re unsure of what your values are. REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. It’s a good start.

Confessions From Quarantine 02

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I just have to say… I’m really grateful for being on the path that I’m on during this crazy time. I feel like I’ve made such immense progress as a person over these past 10 years and it blows me away how I am where I am right now. I would NOT be able to handle it as well otherwise…

Seriously… going to meet Mother Ayahuasca broke me open in ways I’m just beginning to feel and understand. Moving forward as a species, we have to all be able to connect with nature in a similar way as taking ayahuasca… She has a way of making you feel it.. feel it ALL…that warmth of connected oneness with the universe. And we’ve done so much to damage her so now we’re paying the price…

I watched this pandemic series on netflix and in one of the episodes a student asks this virologist “Why do you think humans haven’t evolved to take care of this virus yet?” and he replies something like “That’s the question isn’t it…” But to me it really does seem something like… this is just part of the cycle. As humans we have to collectively learn how to handle the pain of the consequences of history if we’re meant to move forward once this quarantine is complete.

And what kinda person will you be then?

Tuning In

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Mood: 🙂

Had this conversation with Eddy yesterday and was so amused by his answer haha! His introversion never fails to amuse me xD

I think about this sometimes… that idea of how you basically are like a mix of your 5 closest friends or something like that. Who you choose to have in your life is SO important because their stories are literally what you’re tuning into on a regular basis, and whatever repetition we have gets lodged so deeply in our brain we don’t even realize it. It’s time to start questioning what kinds of people we want to become, and who we have in our life plays a big role in that. If their values don’t match yours, then let them find their own tribe, and you find yours. It’s really tough to “break up” with friends, but it’s usually for the better…  This has been so instrumental in my healing I can’t even imagine where I’d be without the people I have around now. And I’m SO invested in their stories it makes me feel like my own life is richer for it!! 😀

Sometimes though when I get in a bad place I feel bad about the people choosing to tune in to ME. Like “Am I just the crazy girl?” With my yoga group, when I left and they had to look for me I thought “Am I just the runaway?” Clearly we’re more complex than archetypal labels, but I think they’re helpful tools to step back and see what we’re consciously and subconsciously portraying to the world around us. If it doesn’t match what we wanna be in our head… it’s time to start moving toward that. That’s what I’m beginning to do now and it’s been an interesting experience 🙂

Confessions From Quarantine 01

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Back in October I said I wanted to post more on here and make it really feel like a “home”… where I could say whatever I wanted. Considering everything going on with the Coronavirus pandemic, that feels like a world away now. It’s nice though…to look back at encouraging words from your past self. Amy says it all the time, how it’s nice to leave little notes for your future self. It makes you feel less alone.

Not gonna lie, the quarantine has been rough, but also REALLY REALLY NICE. I feel like a lab rat in my own control experiment, given the time to observe my behaviors and patterns and figure out what to do to make positive change stick. One of the things has been realizing I seriously need an outlet during this time, so I started this “Confessions from Quarantine” comic.

I’ll be posting daily panels on my Instagram, and once a week I’ll post the 4 paneled spread on here and see where it goes! So feel free to follow me on there if you want a sneak preview 😉 I also started a Twitter account! Who knows how much I’ll update that but… it’s there!

GASP! It’s so strange to think I’ll be making a serious effort to go back on social media.

….shudder.

Really hoping I keep up with this though because there is SOOO much I wanna share!!!

HAPPY EASTER!!!