How I Became A Warrior

HOW I BECAME A WARRIOR

Once, I ran from fear
so fear controlled me.
Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn.
Listen to it, but not give in.
Honour it, but not worship it.
Fear could not stop me anymore.
I walked with courage into the storm.
I still have fear,
but it does not have me.

Once, I was ashamed of who I was.
I invited shame into my heart.
I let it burn.
It told me, “I am only trying
to protect your vulnerability”.
I thanked shame dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed, with shame as a lover.

Once, I had great sadness
buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.
And I found joy right there.
Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.

Once, I had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn’t stop.
Thoughts that wouldn’t be silent.
So I stopped trying to silence them.
And I dropped out of the mind,
and into the Earth.
Into the mud.
Where I was held strong
like a tree, unshakeable, safe.

Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound and my blood boil.
Listened to it, finally.
And it screamed, “Respect yourself fiercely now!”.
“Speak your truth with passion!”.
“Say no when you mean no!”.
“Walk your path with courage!”.
“Let no one speak for you!”
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful WILD child.

Once, loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract and numb myself.
Ran to people and places and things.
Even pretended I was “happy”.
But soon I could not run anymore.
And I tumbled into the heart of loneliness.
And I died and was reborn
into an exquisite solitude and stillness.
That connected me to all things.
So I was not lonely, but alone with All Life.
My heart One with all other hearts.

Once, I ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors, confidants, friends,
and they all have a home in me,
and they all belong and have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility, an unshakeable Presence.

In the depths of my wounds,
in what I had named “darkness”,
I found a blazing Light
that guides me now in battle.

I became a warrior
when I turned towards myself.

And started listening.

Author: Jeff Foster (www.lifewithoutacentre.com)

Take Notice of Trees

Take notice of trees

For just like the breeze

They quiver with untamed beauty

 

The wisdom of these

Gladly teach with ease

For open hearts willing to listen

 

But just as we

Time bears down on thee

And rot besets forests and thickets

 

Our trunks, our leaves

Life shapes, life heals

Bending each of us unique into being

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The trees that sparked the poem…taken from the park where I run each morning

I’m actually really shocked that I just wrote a poem because I don’t write poems (for fear of being horrible at it). However, I’ve been working on learning how to open myself up more to receive and find that running at sunrise with Mother Ayahuasca has been… enlightening to say the least.

She keeps surprising me!

This reminds me of a line from The Last Unicorn that I read last night, when the Unicorn transforms into Lady Amalthea and Prince Lir is overcome by her beauty.

“The cool brightness of the Lady Amalthea grew more slowly than had Mabruk’s wind, but the prince understood quite well that it was far more dangerous. He wanted to write poems by that light, and he had never wanted to write poems before.

I suppose this is what it feels like to be kissed by magic. To recognize that some things are too beautiful and best described through some type of artistic expression. We as humans all have the ability to tap into this, and each new day can be an exciting opportunity for magic to manifest! All we have to do is listen and let it flow through us without fear.