Last week I prematurely went back on Instagram and talked to way too many people which sent me into mania. Sleep schedule got fucked, lost my voice, got really sick, feel like I’m backsliding. I’ve never been able to handle the internet and I keep fooling myself into thinking I can.
Now I can’t find my phone and Eddy won’t let me know if he took it or not and I need it tomorrow for this class I’m gonna be helping facilitate. Now I’m hyperfixating because I don’t know if he has it or not and he keeps giving me cryptic answers. I can feel my energy going toward all this hatred and tension that really is absolutely pointless. He says I’m like a crack addict. Fuck technology. Seriously. As I sit here and write a blog post. Lol it really does suck to be a human in this modern age… contradictions everywhere…
This playlist helps. Lol it really is a convoluted mess of different types of songs, so it’s quite a journey to set it to shuffle and experience the roller coaster of clashing music. It’s such a great representation of my moods it always makes me laugh out loud.
SIDE NOTE: I meant to post about this earlier but lost track of time! I’m gonna be helping facilitate this Resilient: Women, Money and Soul class at Shakti Feminine University starting TOMORROW at 9am PST/ 12pm EST. If you’re interested, there’s still time to register here!!
Last month I took their Cultivating Currencies course and it seriously changed my life, helping me shift my values, examine money and scarcity stories programmed into me by society and ancestry, and cultivate the feeling of “enoughness” in a culture that teaches us we’re never enough. This will be a deeper dive into those concepts, offering tools to take back personal power while in sacred space with women 🙂 Women’s circles have seriously been the most beneficial thing to my mental health these past 2 years… I find that I learn the most when connecting to others and hearing their stories. It’s always such a great reminder that everyone is always going through such similar things and that none of us are ever alone.
Here’s a drawing I did during that class to represent how I was feeling about money at the time.
I call it “Hungry Ghost” because… that’s what America has taught us to be. Nothing is ever enough… we’re constantly marketed to, told that we’re broken and we need to buy something to fix ourselves. But really, we already have everything we need! It’s really great to have found this school and these classes geared toward reversing that deep programming ;_; If any of this resonates with you, click here for more info!
I had such a profound experience in the class that they offered me a the facilitator role of “Tech Queen” for this Resilience course 😀 I am BEYOND excited because all of this is seems to be divine timing!
Why am I here again? Oh yeah I was complaining about technology and here I am being tech queen for this class xD See? Contradictions everywhere. Definitely feel better now though 🙂 It can be so simple! Learning more and more about what I need for self care everyday.